Finally here comes the semester break again

All these while I hated the semester break the most as I know I'll be abandon and neglected again. The most heart breaking part is I was always unwelcome to to a place that I thought I could find my happiness and will make me to the whole. Sometime things just go otherwise as what I've thought but sadly, I have no power in changing anything. So in this semester, I'm going to be myself. To do something that I can, perhaps finding some ways in fulfilling myself. Though this is not the things that my heart told me to do, not the things that my heart willingly to do, but what would be the better choice when someone is not into you? Right? I still have to face the remaining days ahead me. Overall, I think I am just like one of the spices in someone's life, just to be there for complement, to improve the taste of dishes.

Today is a new day to me, a day that I will be with only myself in completing every tasks in daily life~ Well, what can I do? My first day of holiday, I'm going to get my room tidied! I haven't been coming home that frequent ever since semester 5 started... What a tiring and pressure killing semester! No joke! It is not a problem that nobody is giving me comfort and secure. I'm here giving myself an opportunity in offering myself one. To make me feel confortable, I do need my racks of books to be arrange, tons of blankets, bedsheet, pillow and booster cases to be changed, get my laundry done, and of course, the sweeping and mopping! And, I'll have to finish "My Last Lecture"! It is an amazing book! I kind of like the determination of the author! Things planned can be completed within half a day... What to do for the remaining hours??

What can I do next? Sigh, I have no idea... Why? Perhaps my heart is just not into it... Am I really aim to fulfilling my life? Or I'm just finding an excuse for myself in covering my loneliness? Am I missing my days during the semester? What do I want? I am confused and again, I am lost...