A Bad Apology Is Worse Than No Apology

It is one of the impressing chapter I'd read in The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. In that particular chapter, he said there is no pass or fail. What comes into consideration is our faithfulness in apologizing. If we don't mean to apology with all our heart, might as well we don't apologize~ Right? It makes the recipients feel insulting. I totally agree with his saying. Personally I have experience the halfhearted apologize which is so irritating. According to Randy, he said if we've done something wrong in dealing with someone we know, parents, siblings, relatives, friends or even our boyfriend/girfriend or even our spouse, it's as if there is an infection in the relationship. In this case, a good apology can act as antibiotic that can cure the wound, although it's not an immediate effect, at least slowly it heals. On the other hand, a bad apology is equavalet to rubbing salt in the wound, the burning sensation can cause tears! It hurts! If we have no heart to apologize to someone, it is always better to not offering antibiotic rather than scattering salt in the wound.

We are all human, we do make mistakes unconsciously. Others would not blame us for our unintentional mistakes I believe but the way we choose to apologize does make a huge difference whether in worsen somene's wound or vice versa. According to Randy, there are good apologize and bad apologize. Let's have a look with the bad ones first.

There are two classic bad apologies:
1. "I'm sorry you feel hurt by what I've done."
(This is a attempt at an emotional slave, but it's onvious you don't want to put any medicine in the woud.) It is like: Ops, I'm sorry for what I've done but I can't help it too... LOL, in this situation, silence is gold, it is better to get the mouth sealed.

2. "I apologize for what I did, but you also need to apologize to me for what you've done."
(Is that giving or asking for apologize??) It is like when you caught of an affair, you tell your husband/wife: I'm sorry for betraying you but you too have to apologize as you don't satisfy my sexual urge... LOL, what the hell??

Here comes the proper apologies:
1. What I did was wrong. - At least you are finding ways to solve the problem caused.

2. I feel bad that I hurt you. - At least you feel guilty and looking for some solutions.

3. How do I make this better? - At least you try to listen to others' needs

Perhaps you might encounter some problem where people might take advantage of you when answering your question but I too believe most of them will be genuinely appreciate your effort made.

So, the next time when you apologize, think carefully are you sincerely mean that? If so, choose a better way in apologizing. Even the way in thanking others too the same consept will be applied. When you thank someone in accompanying you in doing something, are you sincerely mean that? Or it is just a way to keep your friend from accompanying you the next time? Be aware, your friends are human being, whether your gratitude or apologize sincere, he or she can make out for sure. Unless you own a dummy friend~

Treat your friend in the way that you want them to treat you. Selfish cause you no benifits.

Finally here comes the semester break again

All these while I hated the semester break the most as I know I'll be abandon and neglected again. The most heart breaking part is I was always unwelcome to to a place that I thought I could find my happiness and will make me to the whole. Sometime things just go otherwise as what I've thought but sadly, I have no power in changing anything. So in this semester, I'm going to be myself. To do something that I can, perhaps finding some ways in fulfilling myself. Though this is not the things that my heart told me to do, not the things that my heart willingly to do, but what would be the better choice when someone is not into you? Right? I still have to face the remaining days ahead me. Overall, I think I am just like one of the spices in someone's life, just to be there for complement, to improve the taste of dishes.

Today is a new day to me, a day that I will be with only myself in completing every tasks in daily life~ Well, what can I do? My first day of holiday, I'm going to get my room tidied! I haven't been coming home that frequent ever since semester 5 started... What a tiring and pressure killing semester! No joke! It is not a problem that nobody is giving me comfort and secure. I'm here giving myself an opportunity in offering myself one. To make me feel confortable, I do need my racks of books to be arrange, tons of blankets, bedsheet, pillow and booster cases to be changed, get my laundry done, and of course, the sweeping and mopping! And, I'll have to finish "My Last Lecture"! It is an amazing book! I kind of like the determination of the author! Things planned can be completed within half a day... What to do for the remaining hours??

What can I do next? Sigh, I have no idea... Why? Perhaps my heart is just not into it... Am I really aim to fulfilling my life? Or I'm just finding an excuse for myself in covering my loneliness? Am I missing my days during the semester? What do I want? I am confused and again, I am lost...