Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger

Without I realising it, I am already in the 11th week of this semester which burden not only me but my group members. It comes a saying which is appearing on my mind now: Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. See, I am still surviving here with the support of people around me.

It was three weeks back, two major presentation to be presented in a day has suffocated my group so much... This week, another two burden micro teaching fell on our shoulder again. One was badly commented and in fact, never in my entire life I can predict what is in my this lecturer's head... I don't feel sad of the mark given but disappointed for whatever she has done and said. Thank's to my very cooperative group members to make me still standing strong here. On the other hand, the second micro teaching was a big success for us though we did not score full mark. However, proud to say that all our hard work paid off. Thank's to all my group members for never give up in this tough lesson plan and willing to sacrificed endless time and effort for making this success happened. Also, this presentation has given so much fun to our classmates as well. I am so touch of the cooperation along the way.

Another two more major presentation next week. Again, the spirit of "Hold-On" is still there.

Group members, let's work out together for the final two main obstacles! Cheers~

Expect the worst and hope for the best!

No Lust, No Sorrow

A piece of advice is easy to utter for those who are in need but it often inapplicable for myself for the similar situation. Seeing close ones around me getting stranger from time to time but me, still standing still here not willing to move forward...

Human are often controlled by lust... The more you feel like owning one thing, the more you will being hurt. No lust, no sorrow. How long do i really need to understand this simple concept? Knowing that it is time to make a turning in life, yet still insist of remain on the same old track...

Life, can be so simple if you live with the right people and thing around you. But, when people and things turn to be otherwise, you will realise how cruel life can be. However, be contented with what you have.

Words of wisdom:
Being contented and grateful for what you have is an important aspect of positive thinking. Thinking about what you don't have will only make you worry and lead you to be more dissatisfied with life. Focus on the positive in life. When you are contented, you are also motivated to achieve your dream.

Tinnie

It has been approximately 50 days since I lost my 1st pet dog - Leissie. Sadly, I'm not ready to rare a pup anymore. They sometime can be not so eye catching but when you relise that there will be no chance in meeting them again in your life, you will have no faith to adopt another one. This goes the same to me, no matter how much I want to keep a pet dig again, I just have no faith to provide them the best I can afford... It goes the same in life as well, your fortune can just slip out your finger without you realising it.

However, there is no U-turn for whatever had happened. So what can I do is to proceed my life. Instead of glancing at Leissie's pictures pasted on my door and thinking how is her new life, I have decided to get myself a new company and I have adopted Tinnie, pronounced as /ˈtaɪ.ni/, a female Sugar Glider.

She is coated with smooth dark brown fur with long stripe from her head to the end of her body. She is small in everything, her face is small, her teeth is small, her jaw is small, everything is small.

I have lots of fun spending time with her especially when I scared the most of her claws! It is hairless and when she has contact with you, the feeling is so inexpressible! I will not forget there was an four legged fury creature attached onto my face when she was flying from my relative to me! i was horrified!

This little creature too has her own temper! She will not allow anyone to disturb her when she is having her great time in her dreamland! But the most unfair thing is - SHE CAN DISTURB YOUR SLEEP WHENEVER SHE WANTS TO! Well, who says there is fair and square in life, is there?

A very new experience in adopting a Sugar Glider. Don't know what I will explore later on after getting along well with her. Just can't wait to befriend her.

PS: Sugar Gliders are nocturnal. They are active late in the evening and early in the morning. The best time of my sleeping time! And they are so timid and often crabbing when they feel threaten! Cute one!

HOPING TO SEE YOU AGAIN

DOWN..
I am DOWN..
I am so DOWN..
I am so damn the down..

"What made me so down?" must be linger around your mind...
My pet dog gone missing!
Everyone in the family trying their best in finding her but we failed..
She leave us no trace to find her...
She must be angry of me bring ignorant all these wile...
I feel so bad that I was not aware when she left the house...
In fact, no one knows!
It is 6am in the morning and heavy rain pouring down outside...
Although we have been tying hard to find her,
but she just doesn't appear at all...
Where is she? Is she taken by good-hearted one and well protected under a shelter?
I seriously hope so...
It is cold outside, I can even feel the chill in my room...
My room temperature is no way near outside one...
She must be shivering with cold and thrill without us being with her..
She must be wondering why didn't we find her...
But we really run out of idea where she will be...

Leissie, please come home!
I promise you that I will not neglect you anymore.
I will walk you daily..
I will play with you often..
I will provide you happiness that you've yearn for...
I will provide you the best!

I am so clueless where will she be..
I hope she will come back to me soon..
She will, provided no one block her way!

Her birthday is coming soon...
Will I have a chance to celebrate her 5th Birthday for her?
I hope I'll be credited a chance...
I hope God don't turn HIS deaf ear and cold back to me...

HOPING TO SEE YOU AGAIN~

A Bad Apology Is Worse Than No Apology

It is one of the impressing chapter I'd read in The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. In that particular chapter, he said there is no pass or fail. What comes into consideration is our faithfulness in apologizing. If we don't mean to apology with all our heart, might as well we don't apologize~ Right? It makes the recipients feel insulting. I totally agree with his saying. Personally I have experience the halfhearted apologize which is so irritating. According to Randy, he said if we've done something wrong in dealing with someone we know, parents, siblings, relatives, friends or even our boyfriend/girfriend or even our spouse, it's as if there is an infection in the relationship. In this case, a good apology can act as antibiotic that can cure the wound, although it's not an immediate effect, at least slowly it heals. On the other hand, a bad apology is equavalet to rubbing salt in the wound, the burning sensation can cause tears! It hurts! If we have no heart to apologize to someone, it is always better to not offering antibiotic rather than scattering salt in the wound.

We are all human, we do make mistakes unconsciously. Others would not blame us for our unintentional mistakes I believe but the way we choose to apologize does make a huge difference whether in worsen somene's wound or vice versa. According to Randy, there are good apologize and bad apologize. Let's have a look with the bad ones first.

There are two classic bad apologies:
1. "I'm sorry you feel hurt by what I've done."
(This is a attempt at an emotional slave, but it's onvious you don't want to put any medicine in the woud.) It is like: Ops, I'm sorry for what I've done but I can't help it too... LOL, in this situation, silence is gold, it is better to get the mouth sealed.

2. "I apologize for what I did, but you also need to apologize to me for what you've done."
(Is that giving or asking for apologize??) It is like when you caught of an affair, you tell your husband/wife: I'm sorry for betraying you but you too have to apologize as you don't satisfy my sexual urge... LOL, what the hell??

Here comes the proper apologies:
1. What I did was wrong. - At least you are finding ways to solve the problem caused.

2. I feel bad that I hurt you. - At least you feel guilty and looking for some solutions.

3. How do I make this better? - At least you try to listen to others' needs

Perhaps you might encounter some problem where people might take advantage of you when answering your question but I too believe most of them will be genuinely appreciate your effort made.

So, the next time when you apologize, think carefully are you sincerely mean that? If so, choose a better way in apologizing. Even the way in thanking others too the same consept will be applied. When you thank someone in accompanying you in doing something, are you sincerely mean that? Or it is just a way to keep your friend from accompanying you the next time? Be aware, your friends are human being, whether your gratitude or apologize sincere, he or she can make out for sure. Unless you own a dummy friend~

Treat your friend in the way that you want them to treat you. Selfish cause you no benifits.

Finally here comes the semester break again

All these while I hated the semester break the most as I know I'll be abandon and neglected again. The most heart breaking part is I was always unwelcome to to a place that I thought I could find my happiness and will make me to the whole. Sometime things just go otherwise as what I've thought but sadly, I have no power in changing anything. So in this semester, I'm going to be myself. To do something that I can, perhaps finding some ways in fulfilling myself. Though this is not the things that my heart told me to do, not the things that my heart willingly to do, but what would be the better choice when someone is not into you? Right? I still have to face the remaining days ahead me. Overall, I think I am just like one of the spices in someone's life, just to be there for complement, to improve the taste of dishes.

Today is a new day to me, a day that I will be with only myself in completing every tasks in daily life~ Well, what can I do? My first day of holiday, I'm going to get my room tidied! I haven't been coming home that frequent ever since semester 5 started... What a tiring and pressure killing semester! No joke! It is not a problem that nobody is giving me comfort and secure. I'm here giving myself an opportunity in offering myself one. To make me feel confortable, I do need my racks of books to be arrange, tons of blankets, bedsheet, pillow and booster cases to be changed, get my laundry done, and of course, the sweeping and mopping! And, I'll have to finish "My Last Lecture"! It is an amazing book! I kind of like the determination of the author! Things planned can be completed within half a day... What to do for the remaining hours??

What can I do next? Sigh, I have no idea... Why? Perhaps my heart is just not into it... Am I really aim to fulfilling my life? Or I'm just finding an excuse for myself in covering my loneliness? Am I missing my days during the semester? What do I want? I am confused and again, I am lost...

2 more days to go...

Burdening semester 5 is soon to be over. Now comes the most headache period that making my live fill with palpitation... First final paper is coming in two days time in which two heavy subjects fall on the same day... Psychology is definitely going to driving me insane while as Sociology is clueless to me in what to study. Well, I should say, what creature on earth will set questions on the things that never been taught? Yet, this semester, I am getting the same old lecturer where plenty of presentation throughout the semester but nothing much being stressed... Kind of headache if you get this category lecturer in your studies... Maybe, I did not pray hard enough of not getting him as my lecturer. In fact, I want to see him no more in the rest of my semester before I graduate...

Will be start updating my blog after my final exam. Hopefully there are more inspiration for me to write~ Meanwhile, I am having two major dilemma:

1. What title should I pick for my thesis?

2. Should I continue my Master Degree after this or double degree in Psychology?

I'm confuse...

I hate, I hate that guy,
he used to be an irresponsible boy friend,
and currently the irresponsible husband and father!

Hardly one month ago his daughter was borne into this world
and yet what the daughter feels is merely sorrow and tears of her mother.

This is a common social issue that happen throughout the globe.
Why does all these happen?? I keep wondering...
No good moral value been inculcated? Not religious enough?? Or...
Why is the commitment seems to be not valuable at all?
Why is one relationship can be so fragile?
Why one can changed so easily and being so irresponsible?
I am looking for the answer...

I blame but who to blame? Who am I to blame?
Some can't even eye witness their flesh of meat come to the world
and not credited a chance to welcoming their presence,
and yet, this cold blooded one can be so irresponsible....

什么是爱？

"人类很奇怪，
总要等到失去后才发现他的可贵，
在失去后才设法挽回，
要珍惜却已经来不及。
那是一时冲动吗？

不管发生什么事都一定有解决的方法，
我们应该互相包容对方的缺点，
互相体谅，
互相信任，
因为你爱他。
别应一时的冲动而失去了你爱的人，
到时候会也来不及了。

叶子的离开，
是风的追求？
还是树的不挽留？
大树珍惜叶子，
也不代表叶子永远不会掉下来。

你主动爱惜一段感情，
不代表对方不会离你而去。
但是，
如果爱上了，
就不要轻易的放手。

放弃一个很爱你的人并不痛苦，
放弃一个你恨爱的人，
那才痛苦。
别等到错过后才去后悔。”

很有意思的一封信息，但是，有谁能舍得勉强一段不可能的爱情，即使他是真心的爱。一个人没能爱你就像你所要的，并不表示他不真心爱你，这是能容忍对方不完美的说法。自私的说法，为何为一个不肯在你身上花时间的人？爱与不爱，该怎么衡量，怎么判断？对于一份没有安全感与舒适感的爱情，你又会怎么做？人往往就是很矛盾，我就是其中之一。。。你呢?

What a Bad Day

What a bad day... Overlooked on a presentation can eventually cause me that much... Never knew I have to go so in dept into Malaysia academic syllabus in my presentation and the best part is marks was taken into account for the presentation in which I was not aware of it... The moral of today lesson is, do not be too mark-minded. Even though a simple topic can cause you DEATH!!!!